We have analysed the different textbook excerpts taken from the Rime of the Ancient Mariner. On the basis of all the things you know now of the Rime, observe the following prints and write a dialogue between the different figures present in the print (both human, natural, supernatural, animate and inanimate). Remember that you need to write the part of the narrator too. Have fun and try to be as original and creative as ever! I count on that. Looking forward to reading your “imaginative pieces!”
“The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang,
And cursed me with his eye.
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.
Dialogue nr 1
The Death and the Death-in-live play dice.
The Death says: “If you want that mariner you must play dice with me.”
In this statement, the Death-in-life replies: “He was given to me when he killed the magnificent albatross, it’s useless to play with his live in this world.”
“I don’t care” continues Death “I want his soul to hell. This sailor deserves the hellish pain.”
At this point, the Death-in-life gives up and decides to play dice with the mariner’s life sure to win his soul. In fact she throws the dice and scream: “The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”.
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
Dialogue nr 2
The mariner talk with he ship’s soul : “it was horrible each turned his face with ghastly pang, and crused me with his eye. I couldn’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this punishment!”
The ship pretty annoyed replies: “You lie, you know what you did!”
“What?” asks the sailor confused. So the ship’s boat explains him what he was done “You killed the albatross: the hope of the sea for us sailors.” And she goes away into the ship’s heart again.
Dialogue nr 3
Suddenly the albatross tied to sailor’s neck begins to speak to him, saying: “I’m not angry with you, dear mariner, my fate was sealed long ago. If it wasn’t for your hand, I would by struck dead by lighting next week: God told that to me in Paradise. Not being in pain.” The mariner answer: “Anf never a saint took a pity on me. My soul agony. I’m sad for your death. I’m afraid of my destiny and of my punishment too.”
The albatross that looks at him with a look full of love conforts him by telling me: “Your pain will end when God wants it, He loves all his creatures.”
In the end, the voice trailed off as long as the albatross came death again.
You reveal to have some creative skills, Luana. I am happy to get to know this about you. I appreciated what you wrote, though I suggest you should reread what you write before you post it, that way you would avoid lots of mistakes (silly ones and major ones)! However, since this is your first creative writing activity, I am happy with the results regardless of poor grammar 🙂
1- And cursed me with his eye.1- Life-in-death: “Oh Death I think that today I’ll win the game”
Death: “I’m not sure of it, because I win every time!”
Life-in-death: “Pay attention because this is my moment, I’m sure of it, roll the dice!”
Death: “Ok”
-She rolls the dice, Life-in-death wins-
Life-in-death: “The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
-Quothe she, and whistles thrice, the life of the Mariner was won by Life-in-death-
2- -Death wins the fellows, Life-in-death the Mariner-
Death: “Well I’ll take his salors and you the Mariner”
-She says grumpy, after that she kills the man on the ship and they all dead looking to the
Mariner, because he was the cause of their death-
The Mariner: “Each turned his face with a ghastly pang, and cursed me with his eye”
Life-in-death: “This is your fault, you know?”
Mariner: “Oh, no no no! It can’t be my falut, I’ve done nothig!”
-He says with a low voice-
Life-in-death: “Oh, you did, you did and you know it”
3- Mariner: “ When I was alone, hungry and I saw all my fellows death lokking to me,
never a saint took pity in my soul in agony”
Saint: “We did, but when you killed the Albatross you wrote your destiny and we can’t do nothing
to change it”
Mariner: “What I’ve done, what I’ve done!”
-He says in a whisper-
Mariner: “I’ll change! I promes!”
Saint: “It’s too late, I’m sorry but we can’t do nothig else, goodbye!”
-And he leave him there alone in his solitude-
I know I can expect much more from you. Do you remember the promise you made at the beginning of the school year? Come on smart guy, I decided to bet on you so…show me your great skills.
As I wrote for Luana, this is your first creative writing activity in English, so I am satisfied with it, but … I expect more from you! 😉
1.
DEATH: This is my time to cast dice
LIFE-IN-DEATH: Yes but don’t cheat like last time!
DEATH: Don’t worry, I’ll be honest. Who do you prefer?
LIFE-IN-DEATH: I want the Mariner, he killed the albatross and sentenced the other sailors to death
DEATH: But they are partners in crime, don’t you think?
LIFE-IN-DEATH: Yes but I’m planning a special punishment for him! Come on, let’s play!
DEATH: Even or odd?
LIFE-IN-DEATH: Even
DEATH: Oh no.. you won!
LIFE-IN-DEATH:The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!
DEATH: The mariner is yours! I’ll have the sailors, it’s time for them to stop suffering.
LIFE-IN-DEATH: On the contrary the Mariner will start to do so.
2.
ALBATROSS: Watch them. They died and it’s your fault!
MARINER: No.. I can’t watch those eyes. Everywhere I look, all I see is bodies with widely opened and terrible eyes. Each turned his face with a ghastly pang, and cursed me with his eye.
ALBATROSS: This is your punishment, you killed me and this is the price to pay.
MARINER: Can I die like them? Why am I still alive? I don’t want to suffer anymore.
ALBATROSS: It’s too late.
MARINER: Look at the water, God bless these creature!
ALBATROSS: This is the first good thing you have done. Now I can go because you have been forgiven but this is just the beginning. You should do a long travel, it lasts until eternity.
MARINER: What can I do? I just want to die.
ALBATROSS: No, you can’t. Now you have a mission, you can’t give up.
3.
MARINER: What happened to the crew? I can’t believe I’m guilty of this!
SAILORS’ SOULS: We died because of your mistake. You shouldn’t have killed the albatross.
MARINER: I’m so sorry… I’d have never imagined that this could happen.
SAILORS’ SOULS: You killed it and made us your partners in crime, but you are still alive and this is not fair.
MARINER: I wish I could have your punishment, instead of living with the regrets.
SAILORS’ SOULS: Now you are going to pay forever in agony by travelling until the end of time.
MARINER: What shall I do during my eternal jurney?
SAILORS’ SOULS: You will tell you story to every men you’ll meet so they won’t repeate your same mistake.
MARINER: And never a saint took pity on my soul in agony. I’ll travel the world, hopefully my tragedy won’t be useless.
Nice. This is proof that I should give you more creative writing activities to do? Is this the only way to make you study? If it works I will wreck out my brain to think of other activities for you to do.
“The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
Then Death and life-in-death started talking to each other, as if I was not there, while I was waiting to know what would have happened to me, yet I somehow knew that what I was doomed for would have been something I never experienced nor imagined even in my worst nightmares.
“As you can see, I have won, he will be mine for eternity.”
“You well know he will beg me to save him from this damnation.”
“And that is the most satisfactory things of all, there is nothing he can do that will save him from his eternal pain.
Years and years he will spend mourning the loss of his crew, knowing what he did, how he ruined the life of his shipmates and this way of their loved ones. All because of he could not bear seeing that the reason they made it through the ice was something other than him.
Why can’t men understand that no matter how much they try they will never be equal to God. Nature can’t and won’t ever bend to humanity.”
I could not understand a word of what they said, what were they talking about, why couldn’t they just do something, anything would have been better than staying there waiting. Yet they kept their conversation going and my heart kept throbbing, while I waited for it to stop. It felt as if time did not exist anymore, it had been so long since I last saw the sun and the night made the pitch black sea look like darkness waiting to get us. All of a sudden I saw the two figures finally move, I realized they must have stopped talking while I was absorbed in my thoughts but then Death started speaking again, for the last time.
“It is time. It’s been a pleasure.”
And then they disappeared.
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang,
And cursed me with his eye.
I could not stop staring at a sailor’s eyes, I did not even remember his name, all I knew was that I ruined his life and he knew it, I could see it in his eyes, everything he did not say before dropping down dead. His curse that would have followed me for eternity, his look wishing me the worst of pains. For some reason I started talking to him, even if I knew that that would not have made any difference to him nor me.
“Stop looking at me like that. You should be grateful your life has come to an ending, so as your sorrows, while I am stuck on this boat, surrounded by soon to be stinking corpses. I did nothing to deserve this kind of punishment, you should well know since you did nothing to stop me from killing the Albatross. You all are as guilty as I am! Yet I do not see any of you here suffering with me!
And you stupid bird, how was I supposed to know that by killing you I would have caused all this madness. You saved us once, why should we have kept you alive? You are just an animal, like the ones we kill every day and then eat. Yet Death doesn’t go around and kill everyone who eats meat, does he?”
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.
I was left all alone on that ship, aware of the endless pain that would haunt me for eternity. Mad and disgusted by everything I would see. Out of despair I started yelling at the souls of my shipmates passing me by, just wishing for someone to answer me.
“Please come back, take me with you. Take me to the other world, I will do anything you ask me to. The underworld is better than being here. How am I supposed to find a way home by myself, how can I sail this ship to solid ground?”
But I received no response. I tried killing myself a few times but it never worked. I was condemned to a life of misery. The night was dark and full of terrors, disgusting creatures all around me and nothing I could do to get rid of them. Nor could I look at the now rotting bodies, who with their eyes were still cursing me an insufferable pain.
You left me speechless. Close to perfection, what should I add? Original and “superbly” written. I am so very proud of you Francesca. I am lucky to have you as one of my students. 🙂
1.
DEATH: Now we can play dice
LIFE-IN-DEATH: But this time we must play seriously!
DEATH: Is fine, but if I win I’ll take all of them, even the Mariner
LIFE-IN-DEATH: No! He doesn’t deserve to die!I’ve already prepared a punishment for him
DEATH: Then, odd or even?
LIFE-IN-DEATH: Odd
DEATH: Yes! I win! But this time I’ll be kind and I’ll let the Mariner
LIFE-IN-DEATH: Thank you old friend
2.
ALBATROSS: Behold, look what you’ve done…you’ve killed all of them!
MARINER: I cannot watch them!
ALBATROSS: You were wrong to kill mean you’ve ben punished for eternity!
MARINER: What will be my punishment?
ALBATROSS: As you can already see them suffer just finished, you’ll do forever!
MARINER: No please, now I just want to die, how can I fix it?
ALBATROSS: You can’t. Now you have a mission an you cannot go back!
3.
MARINER: What happened to my fellow? I can’t believe I’m guilty of this!
SAILORS’ SOULS: You were wrong and that’s why we’are dead. You shouldn’t have to kill the Albatross!
MARINER: Forgive me!
SAILORS’ SOULS: It’s unfair we’are dead and you’re still alive! How is it possible?
MARINER: I have been cursed for eternity. I’ll travel endlessly until I’ll find the redemption
SAILORS’ SOULS: Good luck old friend, good luck
Happy to read your creative piece. There are some mistakes, but at least you made an attempt.
The last line in the third piece is not coherent “Good luck old friend”, since a few lines beofre you write “it’s unfair…”, so I assume the sailors do not consider the Mariner a friend anylonger.
FIRST DIALOGUE:
Writer: Death and Life-in-Death are up on the boat and they’re playing with dices
Death: The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!
Life-In-Death: Oh damn it. Please, give me a last chance
Death: Why?
Life-In-Death: Because I need to take the Ancient Mariner
Death: Ok, today I’m feeling good. Take the dices.
Writer: we all know how it will finish.
SECOND DIALOGUE
Writer: The Ancient Mariner is up on his boat with the death albatross. The boat is thinking:
Boat: Oh dear albatross, you came for saving us from this disaster but that stupid man killed you
Albatross’ Soul: This is the payment of what I was trying to do: save man’s lifes.
Writer: this is what happens today in our society. Injustice.
THIRD DIALOGUE
Writer: The Ancient Mariner is desperate on his boat, surrounded by all of his death sailors. He’s speaking with one of his sailor’s soul.
The Ancient Mariner: Oh no, what have I done?
Soul: You’d killed a God’s creature
The Ancient Mariner: But you were all accomplices, why am I the only one who will never die?
Soul: Because YOU had killed the albatross. We had only seen what you did.
The Ancient Mariner: You were only traitors. Good bye.
Soul: Goodbye
The writer is the narror, am I right? If so, you should not write either writer or narrator.
The pieces are short, yet you tried to render the true meaning of the prints, though in a few words.
The ship is sailing through the dark night. No hope is to be found . Two are left to play the last game, who will be the winner who will find his way. The wind is howling through the sails. No sign of God nor of his saints.
– Leave those coins, do not touch them.
– They are mine I’ve won. I will leave this bloody ship. I will return to my country.
– No, none of us will return we will sail for ever , our journey is not over yet.
God looks down at them and lightens with the moon the ship
God: life is all a game which must be played.
– Oh my God I won, I won
God: But what is it that you have won? Two coins but how is your life?
– I’ll sit here and wait and let her believe that her life will change
It’s night there are stars in the sky. The ship is sailing. The sails are down and the flavour of death is all around
– Help me! Help me! Save me!! save me!!
– It is impossible for me to save anyone. Who am I to live or to save
– Look at me I’m here at your feet. Please grab my hand.
– Neither I nor the saints can hel;p it’s too late your dying.
– No I am not! If I look in the sky I can see the light coming from the stars. Please don’t leave me.
– There is no way I can save you . You all need help but I am the one who will be alone, and this is the worst punishment I can receive from the Mighty.
All are dead only one mariner is alive. He looks towards God and cries for mercy.
Oh God the mighty I am a lost soul, all are dead, what shall I do now?
God replies: Hope and faith is all you need, to sail to you home.
I’ll let nature guide me through this agony.
Nice. Remember, though, that these activities are meant to prompt in you the urge to write, to exercise your writing skills so that at the exam you will perform sufficiently wet to pass it without any difficulties. I am writing this to you because I would love you to try to do the activities by yourself. Getting a bit of help is fine, but try to rely on your own competences first. We will do other activities in the near future.
DIALOGUE 1
Death: do you want to play with dice?
Life in death: yes of course let’s have a game!
Death: I want to try first
Narrator: she roll the dice and comes out the number eleven
Life in death: oh great but now it’s my turn
Narrator: she roll the dice and comes out the number twelve
Life in death: “The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!” Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
DIALOGUE 2
Ancient mariner: I killed this sailors and I killed the albatross. I don’t think that this gesture could cause this massacre. I wanted only to have fun with my cross-bow but never a saint took pity on me and now my soul is in agony.
Narrator: the ancient mariner take his cross-bow and shot himself.
Next time try to work a bit more and better. In the second dialogue there is something that does not flow in my opinion. How can the Ancient Marienre mention that he killed the Albatross and then you have it mentioned by the narrator? It is confusing, isn’t it? Try to bury “laziness” and start working seriously to reveal what you are really capable of, if you want to.
1)While they are in ship life-in-death and death argue about sailors’s destiny considering their action.
D:I’m the whrost punisment for men. No one of them could ever avoid me.
L-in-D:You couldn’t be a real punisment because you will give relief to their life’s sufference.
D:I deprive them of the only life they have. I deprive them of achieving happines.
L-in-D:You are wrong. I will give thrm the true sufference . The impossibility of reparing their action and the wareness of aneternal life are the biggest pain.
D:The fate will be our judge.
Life-in-death and death trusting in their dice determine the ancient mariner destiny.
L-in-d:The game is won! I ‘ ve won, i’ve won!
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
2)After killig the albatross,death started hiting the whole crew.
Sailor:This is the consequence of your action.
Ancient mariner:I’m not the only guilty.
S:Yes,you are. Nobody pushed you to do this .
A.m:You all were stucked nobody tried to do stop me!
S: I didn’t imagine you wear able to do such a terrible thing.
A.m:Neither do I.
S:You think only about yourself. You musn’t consider yourself superior to life. She will always win.
She sent the albatross to help us.
A.m:If it happened there is a reason. We can only accept the consequence.
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang, and cursed me with his eye.
3)While sailors’s souls are rising in the sky, the Ancient mariner scream desperately
A.m: Oh creul god! You drove me to accomplish this terrible action.
The Ancient mariner was surprised by the fact that god answer his invocation.
G: Nobody blamed me about such a violent incident.
A.m:What about me now? Will I ever be released.
G: Forgiveness is allowed only to regretfull men.
A.m: It won’t be easy to me Ialways suffered a lot and never a saint took pity on
my soul in agony.
G:Maybe you have never really asked for their help.
A.m:Your task is to drive us and help us spiritually in our choises.
G:Igive you the free will. I don’t oblidge mankind to do anything,they didn’t want to do
So, god left the Ancient mariner in his pain
One thing is sure: you do not lack creativity! However I know you can do much better. Next time try to proofread your written assignment before you publish it. This way you can spot grammar and spelling mistakes. If you happent to have some time you may ask a friend or classmate of yours to read you piece and give you feedback.
1.
“The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
This is the voice of Life-in-Death, but suddenly a strange noise comes from the top of the vessel: “This is not a case, all is written in the Fate, so you didn’t win anything, the Mariner is doomed to you, for his mistakes and now he will have to pay the ransom.”
Life-in-Death is thinking, and she understands that there is no reason to be so happy
2.
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang,
And cursed me with his eye.
The Albatross around the neck of the Mariner started moving his moving his wings slowly, and then whispered: “This is your fault, Ancient Mariner, and now you have to tell this story to the whole world, if you want to leave this empty body.. You will learn to love Nature, animals and also other humans, all the creatures of God, and we will forgive you”
The Mariner is extremely frightened and escaping from the Albatross he screamed and tried to throw himself in the sea, but an invisible force rejected him on the ship, so he started to cry and the fell asleep, exhausted from the agony.
3.
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony
But a saint wanted to help him, and counseled him: “Try to bless any kind of little creature, even those that you didn’t even know the existence, start to keep calm and behold the world around you, you will discover amazing wonders and feel ashamed of what you did. Only pursuing this way you will find the salvation.”
And so the Mariner will view the things with new eyes, eyes of a God’s creature
Some parts are really creative. Next time try to reread what you write before you post it, so that you can spot some easily avoidable mistakes (spelling, easy grammar rules, etc.). I expect more from you because I know you can give much more than this. However, I am satisfied, regardless of my high expectations (this is no contradiction: I know you have lots of subjects to study!)
Life and life-in-death were casting dice for the ship’s crew and the ancient mariner’s fate.
Ship: “poor mariners, poor, poor mariners! The two lives are casting dice for their fate!”
Life-in-death: “the game is done! I’ve won! I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
Life: “damned dice!”
Ship: “two pieces of plastic can decide the fate of all the ship’s crew!!”
Life and life-in-death : “this is fate! It is unpredictable for something or not?!”
In the meanwhile the ancient mariner is standing on the ship parched because of the thirst and is looking at the crew..
Albatross: “I’m hanging on your neck because of your fail!”
Ancient mariner: “You are the cross on mi heart because I don’t think when I killed you!”
Albatross: “You’ll repent yourself! Look how you reduce the crew!”
Ancient mariner: “oh my god! They are crucifying me too!”
Each turned his face with ghostly pang. And cursed me with his eye.
After this dialogue with the albatross life and life-in-death placed side by side their ship.
Ancient mariner: “the lives are arrived! I’m lost!!”
Life-in-death: “I’m here for you, killer of the albatross! See what happened to the crew of your ship..”
While life-in-death is saying this to the ancient mariner, life pulls out all the mariners spirits.
Than the ancient mariner looking these souls going away in a twister started thinking about his fate..
Ancient mariner: “I prefer die here now, with my crew notepad that continue to live talking about this disaster! And never a saint took pity on my soul in agony!”
You did not carry out the activity as you had been asked to. However, I appreciated the attempt. Next time leave some time for proofreading. I am sure you will do much better in the next creative writing activity.
SIMONA MASTRAPASQUA
IMMAGINE 1
In a far and undefined period two malignant angels bagan a war to contend for the most excruciating pain. One of these represented the phisical sorrow , the other the psychological. After continuous battles and material destructions, they were exhausted and decided to rely on the case.
DOLORES: Stop to fight! In this way not prevail none of two.
PSICHE: What du you think to do?
DOLORES: Let the fate to decide who will be stronger.
PSICHE: How?
DOLORES: We throw two dice, I win if they became blacks, I lose if reds.
PSICHE: I agree with you, but on one condition, I’ll throw them.
DOLORES: It’s Ok for me, start!
She took the dices in a neutral color and threw them on the ground.
PSICHE: “The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
IMMAGINE 2
The captain of a ship was a great flatterer of a mythological bird, so much that he always wore a real one on the neck. In a long trip began to rise symptoms of plague. All the crew was stuck by it, except him inexplicably.
MARINER: Go away! Walk away! You are the devil! How is it possible that we are all dying and you’re not?
JACK: I’m not the devil,indeed it is my faith that helps me. You also must believe to save youself.
MARINER: I will never believe in your vain faith!
JACK: Therefore you will go in the hell.
After that he saw all the sailors die and each turned his face with a ghastly pang, and cursed me with his eye.
IMMAGINE 3
In a ship full of sailors, there was one of these that didn’t believe in God. One day the Creator wanted to show him his power, calling with him in paradise all the sauls of his mates , except the one of the atheist.
ATEO: Why are you doing this? Why you make me see with my eyes to rise souls of my friends? Is it not true that you have been created the earth’s things? I am not even one of your creature? You don’t leave me alone in the darkness of fear and ignorance. Enlighten me! And never a saint took pity on my soul in agony.
GOD: Open your heart and you will be saved.
The mariner understood that only believing and loving God unconditionally would put an end to the agony of his soul giving him the eternal light.
You have definitely made headway since last year. However, at times it is not easy to follow the train of thoughts. There are lots of spelling and grammar mistakes which make it a bit difficult to understand what you originally meant to write. I am happy to see, though, that you tried to work at your best. Do not give up because you can reach better results. I know it.
1) At the early sunset the ocean was opened in two and from the abyss a wreck came out cricking and wailing. On board only two figures could be seeing, one was all dressed with black clothes, the other with white ones. The two were DEATH and LIVE-IN-DEATH. They were preparing for a game of dice, and while doing it they started talking about their mission.
“Why do you want him so much?” said Death sulky, “, that is what He said, and He let us decide what it will be.What he did, is not something that deserves a simple punishment. ” answered Live-in-death. Than the former replied:” What I did is not simple”, “Well, since we continue to fight over this point we will draw lots to see who will have him, and as the othet ones are also incriminated, you will take them all, so you do not have much to complain about.” told the latter. After hearing that Death made a really grumpy face and quoth:”I just do not thing that you are so special. I could let him left his body and make him stay on the earth forever. He will be ignored like he did with his common sense.” and in the end Live-in-death said:” If he will get ignored then his suffer would be useless, but if he is made to go and spread his knowledge, that would have a double effect.” Death was not so sure about that, but she pulled the dice, that was not a good result, after which there was the turn of Live-in-death, “The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!” Quoth she, and whistles thrice. And so the fate was chose.
2)The crew were at their limit, no one could move beyond, no one could think of anything else except that everything was my fault. They were all closed in their suffering body. They could no longer hear anything, the echo of their tired heart resounded in their empty carcasses. Those were no longer men, what makes a man a man in those bodies there was not. They had also lost hope. Only one thing was left to them; in those dead eyes echoed the hate. The one who was to lead to salvation, led to their death. Each eye said : “you kill me”. The Mariner read them perfectly, seemed almost to hear it actually. And it was really so, the voice come from the dead bird tied to his neck. It said it clearly and repeated it two time. The Mariner got paled, the other looked like they had not heard it, but it said so. He pretended that there was nothing, but for days the albatross repeated those words, he could not bear more, he tried to strangle the bird; and at the same instant in which he succeeded the albatross died, and with him all the comrades, Each turned his face with a ghastly pang, And cursed he with his eye.
3)My companions were all dead, and their souls were all in front of me, I felt a little like Aeneas in the Elysian fields. I was moved, their pain was finally over, but not mine. And they were looking at me with threatening eyes. Mine pain only then began. Among them there was my most faithful friend, the one who would have followed me to the end of the world, and there I took him. I felt so ashamed, so sorry. I betrayed his trust. I tried to speak but he stop me and said: “what you did was our downfall, but I forgive you my friend. Just tell me one thing why did you do it? What did you want to prove?”. I wanted to answer him but I had no voice, than I started to cry, but no tears came down, it was a dry cry. I could only mumble: “Sorry”, but I was not really sorry, I was scared. I tried to say: “please help me, please save me!” , but no sound came out. he looked at me with pitiful eyes, and told me: “Brother, there is no hope for you, this will be your punishment”. After those words all the spirits passed me by And never a saint took pity on My soul in agony.
You worked hard and I really appreciated it. I loved reading your creative pieces. Next time try to reread everything before you post it, this will help you spot some mistakes that are easily detectable in the phase of proofreading.
You are certainly creative and endowed with strong will. 🙂
Picture one.
Death and life in death are on the ship. While they’re arguing about mariner’s destiny, something unaspected happens and it changes destiny’s forces balance.
Death: “As we all know, the best way to punish bad actions is the privation of guilty’s life”
Life in death: “It’s only an illusion, I’ll manage to bring them on my way: nothing is better than an existence of expiation to learn a lesson”.
Death: “Even they will live expiating their guilt, they will enjoy life’s gift anyway and it mustn’t happen. As a guilty man committing a crime against an other being, deprive him of his happiness and freedom we must punish that man depriving him of his most precious comfort source: the life”.
Suddenly the moon light dims and the ship staggers.
Sea: “Since you’re not able to find an agreement, I’ll help you in this task”
Life in death: ” You’re not allowed to take part in this decision”
Sea: “Nature suffered an injustice, doesn’t it? How could I be rejected from this event? Go on casting dice and I’ll play my part”.
They cast dice and a big wave, making the ship floatting, make the dices fall according to his will.
Life in death: “The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and she whistles thrice.
Picture three.
While he stares at his mates souls rising to the sky, the ancient mariner is depressed and questions himself about the infernal punishment he’s got.
Ancient mariner: “What a miseable life I’ve done! What a terrible future expects me?”
Souls: “Think about your fault, think about your actions, think about your decisions and do not look for an undeserved forgiveness: face your action’s consequences before judging your conditions as unfair”
Ancient mariner: ” I,ve never been assisted in my life, I’ve never been used to gratitude, and never a saint took pity on my soul in agony”
Souls: ” This time you’re going to serve a heavy pain.. it arrives directly from sufference itself: the death”
Picture two
The ancient mariner feels the load of his actions but he doesn’t feel guilty.
Ancient mariner: “I can’t live with such a burden on myself”
Sailors: “You have to face your guilt, you have to experience the sufference you have caused to an innocent being and to us”
Ancient mariner: ” I’m not responsible for your punishment, I’ve operated impulsively. I don’t trust in superstitions and tales, I only belive in the reality of the fact”
Sailors: “O miserable man, pay attention to your own words: you’re paying for yuor lack of reflwction. Look at your neck. That pour albatross is the symbol of your guilt and by now, he will replace us as your voyage mate. That pour soul is the sign of your guilt with whom you have to coexis”.
While I was staying petrified, each turned his face with a ghastly pang
and cursed me with his eye.
Some parts were not immediately clear to me, I had to reread them more than once. It is highly advisable to leave time for the phase of proofreading before posting one’s comment. Proofreading is fundamental to avoid spelling mistakes (especially when they may cause confusion. For example POUR and POOR) and grammar mistakes. I am sure you will perform much better next time. I count on that!
IMAGE 1
They launch the dice at the same time.
The tension has cutted with a knife,
Death howls “go” in sign of encouragement,
You could see Life in Death assaulted by the fear of the defeat.
The dice danced uncertain on the deck,
And at the discover of the final result,
Life in Death woke up and shouts
“The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
IMAGE 2
I know my shipmates will be died in a short time,
But when it happened I wasn’t prepared at the horrible vision.
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang,
And cursed me with his eye.
They fall on the ground like lots full of stones,
And in that moment I thinked I would have been alone,
And damned forever.
IMAGE 3
I was lonely on the sea,
Abandoned by the world.
My screams dispersed in the wind,
My crying not heard by anyone.
I tried to invoke the God’s help,
But it seemed that God was deaf at my words.
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.
Some parts are not clear to me. It reads more like poetry than like narrative. You had been asked to write a mixture of narration and dialogue. Then there are lots of major mistakes (thinked, cutted, etc.) that must be avoided. Try to leave some time for proofreading next time. It will certainly help.
“The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, and whistles thrice.
Death and the life-in-death was playing dice on the ship. In those dice,all my destiny was played. I was looking at that horrible scene,while I was extremely terrified.
And suddenly,life in death exclaimed :“The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”. In that moment; I realized that my end;my terrible end was determined. A dead silence overtook the ship; when Death started to speak:” I know that you’ve won;but just explain me why you feel so glorious;and praised? Humans prefer to die; to get rid of all the difficulties and the pain in life;to put an end to their suffering existence..”
She was ending his speech;when Life in Death laughing aloud said:”Hah;and this is why I feel so victorious, it’s too easy to die;without suffering,it’s too easy to stay in peace; without paying for the mistakes made before;it’s not a punishment but a lesson for humanity. I feel so glorious as you said; because humans made too many errors, being so selfish. Im here,to help mankind to learn from the mistakes;of others. To make them act in a moral and equal way.”
Death;continued to stare at Life in Death a bit suprised;and did not tell anithing;my destiny was settle.
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang,
And cursed me with his eye.
As long as I will try to explain you;my feelings in that state,I can not never be so realistic. All the suffering faces that was sourrounded me;the yellow sore eyes;it was as if I was imprisoned by the looks. Accused of a grave sin. Cold,night,me and the dead albatross on my neck. I felt so seriously guilty ;the sailors was dying for my fault. And the worst was that I could not do anything to save them;and even save my sefl. In the depth of my despair , I heard a sailor stil alive,tryng to tell me something,with a weak voice he prounounced these words:” Look what you have done;killing the albatross! How miserable and weak now we are for your faut! Look at the sailor and our wretched end! You’ve killed the albatross;the sign of God!”
“I was just tryng to save the ship from that strange creature,I just did not know of it’s symbolic sign!”
“Nothing will be the same now,you will be suffering for all your life;and no-one will save you from this fate!” He said;exhaling his last breath.
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.
No one on the ship was still alive. I was alone;in the ocean. Surrounded by dead bodies.
I cried out;try to kill my self but in vain. My punishment was to live the eternal.
A strange feeling has dominated my body,anger,rage,fear,and endless suffering. The worst was that sensations will never end. No end;just eternity. And then I started wondering:” This is the eternity to wich humans aspire? This eternal sufference? this eternal pain? Forgive me God! Forgive me, I have sinned without knowing it! Oh how I wish to be one of this dead bodies!”.
Scared and alone I was. Weighed down behind,by a sin of which even I knew I had committed.
Basma, I loved your creative piece. You seem to have grasped the scope and complexity of Coleridge’s work. Try to work on accuracy: there are lots of grammar and spelling mistakes you can easily avoid if you try to proofread what you write after some time.
I enjoyed reading your piece and I hope in the future accuracy will go hand in had with appropriacy!
Dialogue nr.1
The Ancient Mariner, who has just killed the albatross, and his crew see in the distance a vessel getting close to them. This view gives them a new glimmer of hope, but what they see as the vessel approaches is something frightening. On board ship, in the middle of the rough water, the skeleton of a dead body is arguing with the soul of that corpse about the destiny of the crew; they decide their fate by casting dice.
Skeleton: They are all almost dying and I want them, I want to free them from pain.
Soul: It would be unjust. There is a man who have to purify his soul, the lot cannot be indifferent to what he have done during his life! Skeleton: Let’s cast dice, it is the only way to come to an end.
Soul: You are right. Here they are!
The soul takes out the dice and throw them on the floor of the ship.
Soul: The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!
Skeleton: Yeah, you won… Soul: I’m going to take that old mariner and make him feel sorry for his crime! You are free to do whatever you want with the rest of the crew. Now they are all in your hands!
Dialogue nr.2
The crew is dying, but the mariner. His mates are looking at him with a nasty look and are blaming him of their death. In particular, one of them addresses to him with words of reproach.
Man: It’s your fault! We are in this situation because of your negligence!
Mariner: No, don’t blame me! I want to die with you, my mates, I don’t want to expire all by myself! Mate: This is what you deserve, you faithless friend!
The crew is passing away and the mariner stays alone panic-stricken.
Mariner: No, no! How can be the fate so pitiless? How can I survive without my mates? No, no, I regret what I did!
Dialogue nr.3
“And never a saint took pity on my soul in agony” thinks the mariner while his mates’ souls are living their corpses headed toward the sky. The mariner, in the grip of madness, yells at God begging for forgiveness.
Mariner: Please, take me and release my soul from sins! I hope and pray your absolution!
God: I cannot do anything, you are the creator of your destiny and this suffering is the right punishment to your crime. Mariner: But…but now I am regretful for the crime I committed!
God: I know, but it doesn’t matter. By now the dice is cast!
Mariner: I feel sorry, I swear it! God: Dear old mariner, you have been so unfair with my other creatures and now you have to expiate you faults; unfortunately, suffer is the only way to do it.
The mariner has no option but suffer till his soul will be purified.
De Piero Lara 5H
Astonishing piece Lara, I loved reading it. It seems you are able to show your full potential on the blog. Perhaps your being reserved and timid prevent you from being at your best in class.
1.
Death: Sister, do you see those sailors? All are going to die: this time we will choose to dice the booty belongs to us.
Life-in-death: It is true, all because of that fool with the albatross around his neck. Whoever wins will take the wicked sailor and won it will be up to the crew
Death: I agree.
The Death took the dice of bone and he let it fall like a dead weight on the keel.
Life-in-death stood up and walked over to see the result. She had won again, the fate of the sailor was now well marked and like that of his companions.
Death: Here! nuts have chosen, I will take the crew under my coat and I’ll give you the sailor.
Life-in-death: He’ll have a worse fate, he will not rest more than ever, it will be wrapped by nightmares and never find peace.
2.
Last sailor: What have you done? Where did you bring us?!
Mariner: What is happening to you? Why are all dying?
Last sailor: This expedition should never have started! your foolishness has condemned us!
Mariner: It is not possible! It was just an albatross!
A sailor: You are not enough blood albatross, and even our! God damn you!
With these words the last sailor of the crew died and remained with his lifeless eyes fixed towards the albatross around her neck. For three days the sailor did not sleep thinking constantly about why he had not died too. But someone had other plans for him…
3. Mariner: Who are you? What happened to the crew?
Souls of sailors: We are the spirits of your comrades, dead because of you.
Mariner: No please! Leave me alone! If I had known I would not have ever done!
Souls of sailors: Now there is no going back, we not persecute you, you already have your punishment!
Mariner: And what would be?
Souls of sailors: You will pay for your crime, you will travel in agony until the end of time, telling your story.
The sailor again took the helm and with yellow eyes began to scan the horizon looking for someone to tell his story.
Eventually, after some time, you decided to post your piece. I enjoyed reading it though I know perfectly well that somebody helped you write it. I hope this somebody helped you and did not write it for you. If this somebody helped you it implies you are learning something. Try to start working Francesco, you can make it if you really want to, I know it! 🙂
I ˚dialogue
Death and Life-in-death are casting dice. They are going to discover which members of the crew will belong to them.
Death exclaims :“The Mariner will be mine! You don’t have to cast the dice!”. But Life-in-death replies :“If I were you, I wouldn’t be so convinced of that! Dice, dice, please, show us the destiny!”. So the dice start moving and at the end they whisper :“We run, we turn and we run. We won’t hear your prayer! Arrogance is not the solution. Than here we are, ready to tell you the truth.” A chilling wind comes, the dice stop. The destiny is shown. “The game is done! I’ve won, I’ve won!”
Quoth she, the beautiful Life-in-death, and whistles thrice.
II˚dialogue
Death and Life-in-death have done their game. The destiny shows that the Ancient Mariner will live forever instead his shipmates are dying.
The Ancient Mariner is confused : “What is happening? I fell flames inside me!”. One of his dying shipmates whispers : “You killed the white Albatross, you made the mistake…But now we are here, suffering.” The Ancient Mariner cannot understand : “Oh man please, I beg you, I beg you, don’t leave me here, Death has come to take me! I will help you I promise, we will find food to eat and water to drink…”. The Ancient Mariner does not end to talk to his shipmate that each turn his face with a ghastly pang, and curse he with his eye.
III˚dialogue
The Ancient Mariner understands his destiny. Every shipmate is going to die. He will remain alone. The shipmates’ soul are flying away.
The Old Man starts crying : “Where are you going? Please I want to come too! The captain has to die, his shipmates have to live!”. He starts tearing up his clothes, he fells fire and flames inside his body. He takes the hand of the man with whom he was talking before : “ Do not go, please! Or take me with you!”. The chilling wind comes, he runs over the collapsed bodies and he whispers : “ Souls, oh souls, come, come, is time: the game is done!”. The Ancient Mariner is crazed, desperate and he shouts : “ I am here, take my soul too, he is burning inside me!”. The Old Man extends his arms, he wants to catch the souls. He falls over the dead bodies. He prays and prays but nothing happens. He lies on his shipmates : “And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.”.
So original. It reads smoothly too!
Thanks for always working hard Valentina, I will always cherish you in my heart as one student with a HUGE heart and a great smile.
I enjoyed reading your piece. 🙂
Dialogue 1
Death and life-in-death are approaching the Ancient Mariner’s ship when Death exclaims: “those men have to be punished for their sin, and the best punishment is to take them under my wing”
But life-in-death replies: “That’s not fair! You always take them with your chill air” .
At these words the death claims: ” There’ s a man with the heart cold like the ice, let’s play his soul with dice!” and Life-in-death replies with a grin: ” that’s fine but do not get mad if I win!”
So death cast the dice. “The game is done! I’ve won! I’ve won” quoth she, and whistles thrice.
Dialogue 2
The game is done. The sailors are sentenced to death except the Ancient Mariner.
One of them starts shouting to me: “Why? Why do you have killed the Albatross? And why are we punished while you have no loss?” Then I cries: “I don’t know!I did not think! but you are guiltless and death should bring me with her and not you!”.
The sailor screams: “That’s not fair” and then he adresses to Death: “Come here and take him with you! it’s his fault!”. But the ship is already disappeared and each mariners turned his face with a ghastly pang, and cursed me with his eyes.
Dialogue 3
The souls are flying away and the Ancient Mariner is shocked and he cries: ” Please, please, stop! Don’ t leave me alone!Don’t go away so fast!”.
To these words a soul begins to whisper while he is blowing away in the wind: “Now you are alone and you have to tell your story to every man you encounter..remember what you did!You have the possibility to teach men what you are going trough and you have to do it for ever!”
The Ancient Mariner drops to the ground and starts praying and then he thinks: “and never a saint took pity on my soul in agony”.
Your creativity comes out whenever I ask you to write something on the blog. You will have to write more then!
Mind you, there are some mistakes you can easily avoid if you proofread your piece before you publish it!
PICTURE N°1
Death / life-in-death: we’re coming Ancient Mariner, be ready or not, pay attention, this is your punishment, not you redemption.
Death: who will you take, the leader or the crew?
life-in-death: I take the one, you take the lot! The worst punishment is not brought by you!
Death: no way, you’re not my chief, for the two of us you cannot decide!
life-in-death: let’s put stupid consideration aside.
Death: let’s leave dice to declare if he’s your or mine!
Life-in-death: life is just a big joke, after all, throw them down!
Death: and the man’s soul nothing more than a pawn.
Life –in-death : cast the dice! Do not think about it twice!
(the two of them start to play in front of the ancient mariner. Life-in-death wins)
Life-in-death: the game in done, I’ve won, I’ve won!
Death: sorry for you, Ancient Mariner!
Life-in-death: the sky for you will not be sunnier!
PICTURE N°2
Mariner (to his fellows): Please, close your eyes! Don’t look at my guilty face. That was me, that was me! I didn’t want this to happen to you, my dear fellows, close your eyes! They cross my heart like whizz of my cross-bow! I cannot find the answer to my action. Rest in peace, the game is done: no more pain for you, loneliness and punishment is what I deserve, but please now, close your eyes. Fly away, reach the moon that tonight seems to shine in horrible and different way, I am so sorry, no redemption for me. These horrible sound seem knife in my ears, the shoot my fault on me and I cannot stand it. Why, why, why the life? Why is it so easy to do something wrong? Why so difficult a good action? What I needed was just an arrow, nothing more, and the fate of my crew was already decide. Life is not in our hand, who owns it? Please dear fellows, close your eyes! Life is a gift so difficult to use, life is just a joke that gives you the impression to be, but you are nothing, you are just a pawn, a false step and you are done. The game is done, I lost, I lost. I didn’t know I was playing… I am so sorry, no redemption for me, loneliness and punishment I what I deserve. Please, dear fellows, close your eyes!
PICTURE N°3
Mariner: all alone, all, all, all alone, alone on a wide, wide see
Never a saint will take pity on me!
I will not pray a saint, nobody at all
I’m sure he won’t notice that I’m even won
I won’t break this wide silence, I’ll have to share it for so long,
But I’m not so strong.
I will not pray a god, nothing at all
I’m sure he does not care, now that they’re gone!
I have to stay here, and suffer for so long,
I don’t know if I’m so strong.
I feel so stupid, it is all my fault,
Redemption won’t come easy, I won’t be save at all
But I won’t break this silence, I’ll share it for so long,
But I’m not so strong.
What could I possibly want from this? I’m already done!
Everything is mud and fire because of me,
I am so sorry, I surely deserve this loss.
Souls: you don’t have to say anything at all
We cannot bring your suffering away, we cannot do nothing at all!
Shooting to him you wasted our life, now do not waste your pray.
You show creativity and understanding of The Rime with your three pieces. I read them easily, with no great obstacles as to grammar or spelling. Try to proofread, though, since I know you can do better and you know I demand more from you (because you have great potential, this is why!).
1.
The two women are casting dice. Soon the Mariner will be part of heaven or hell.
The dice jump…the dice run…the destiny arrives, the destiny goes away and comes the fate.
The dice stop, Death and Life-in-death look at them and Death says:” The Mariner is my! I will bring his soul but I let him his body. He will not have quiet in his days”.
And Life-in-death answers:” The game is done! I’ve won but I take the other mariners’ sould. They have already suffered enought.”
Quoth she whistles thrice
2.
The bright-eyed Mariner is looking for water to help the crew.
The mariners can not speak, they are bitting their lips due to the thirst.
The ancient mariner says :”What should I do? I killed the Albatros and now nature is bad. I killed a sign of hospitability with that murder so we are going to die because of my error.”
The Wedding Guest cannot choose but hear he is mesmerised and listenning… the tale goes on.
“Their glance is like ice that hurt my heart- says the Mariner-each turned his face with a ghastly pang, and cursed me with his eyes”.
3.
The Ancient Mariner is surrounded by corps.
The members of the crew are dead and he is talking to Death:” Please, take me! Take me with you! I am the only person that should die. I am alone, alone, alone a dead man in a horrible life! My crew’s souls are gone and mine is damneded and never a sain took pity on my soul in agony”.
Death do not answer to him , she let him alone in the middle of the sea.
Giada Blasut 5^ F
You wrote more than usual, great!
Try to use the “spellcheck” option in the computer, that way you will avoid lots of spelling mistakes. Leave time for proofreading too, that way some grammar mistakes can be avoided.
Emanuele Li Calzi
DIALOGUE 1
Death and life-in-death are on the skeleton ship casting dice. The crew stood dumb seing the vessel approaching to them. The Spectre Woman and her Deathmate agreed to cast dice, the winner would have decided the Ancient Mariner’s fate.
DEATH: This Mariner deserves a harsh punishment, he killed a God’s creature and went against the law of Nature. I suggest to kill him as he did with the Albatross.
LIFE-IN-DEATH: No! Why don’t we punish him with a stronger solution? He would suffer more if we left him in a condition of immortality, in which he would be forced to live forever with his guilty feeling.
DEATH: That will be the solution only if you win this match: if you make a higher score than mine the Mariner will get your punishment.
LIFE-IN-DEATH: I agree with you! That’s fine, let’s do it!
The dice floated in the air…
DICE 1: Death will win! The Mariner will die because I will be the winning dice!
DICE 2: You’re certainly wrong! I’m willing to bet one of my sides that I’m going to be the winner. I’ve always been the most fortunate!
The dice tumbled on the ship deck…they finally stopped at the two figures’ feet.
Life-in-death made the higher score and won the match. The Ancient Mariner’s fate was done, the sailors died hence the old man would have carried this painful load throughout his whole life.
LIFE-IN-DEATH: Alea iacta est.
DEATH: (she stood silent).
DIALOGUE 2
The Albatross is still hanging from the Mariner’s neck.
ANCIENT MARINER: Oh! What a pitiful existence! This death creature represents the burden that fills my soul. You! Bright Albatross, you are the bond that links men to nature and I broke that tight relationship, causing the death of all the members of my crew. Your weight is like the load that now and forever will lie heavy on my conscience. My soul and body are too weak to bear the weight of your mole, I would like to take that ax left on the floor and cut the rope that binds us; but I can’t do this, the Albatross is my punishment that will last forever. I accept the curse that descended on me as the serving of a sentence sent by God for the killing of His creature!
DIALOGUE 3
A stream of souls covered the sky like a swollen river, the moonlight was hidden by this tremendous flow. The sailors’ corpses lay down on the ship deck at the Mariner’s feet.
ANCIENT MARINER: No, no! Don’t leave me all alone!
MARINERS’ SOULS: Dear, come with us… We can forgive you for what you have done as God teaches us. Your pain and your guilt will surrender to death and you will finally reach a state of peacefulness…
ANCIENT MARINER: I do agree with you my dear comrades, but…have you ever heard those famous verses?
“To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die.”
Unfortunately I already know the answer to this question: I went against the laws of Nature and I must pay for this reason. My life must be here and my punishment will accompany my soul for the rest of my days on earth. As I’m now a life-in-death I have to face the all “slings and arrows” that life throws against me. I pray God for a redemption but I know that this is the right penalty and I deserve it.
You reveal to have acquired a good grasp of the ballad. I am proud of that. Mind the use of the conditional. You use the third conditional when you should have used the second. When you refer to the actions in a story and you tell the anecdotes, you use “would”. It seems that somebody has helped you, which I am happy as long as you understand the help you are given. The more you write the better it will be for your final exam. At times you use expression that reveal that you thought in Italian and translated into English. 😉
First dialogue
Death: Dear fellow of mine, please come.
Life in-death: I’m coming. I’m coming.
Death: Let’s cast the dice, dear fellow of mine and let’s see the destiny.
Life in-death: All right. I’m ready. Let’s go for it!
Death: I cannot but say something before we start, dearest fellow of mine. If you win the mariner’s life but that of the crew is mine.
Life in-death: It’s fine. It’s fine. Let’s play the game!
They cast the dice.
Life in-death: The game is done! I’ve won! I’ve won!
Second dialogue:
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang, and cursed me with his eyes.
Then one man started to speak.
Man: You. You are the reason of my sorrow…
Mariner: Your words are like daggers!
Man: You, the principal of my death…
Mariner: They’re like a blade plunged into my chest!
Man: You. You that I…I thought you were a friend of mine…but now I know you are…
Mariner: Oh, please. Please stop this painful list!
Man: Oh if my eyes could be daggers, I would kill you myself!
Third dialogue:
Mariner: Oh, never a saint took pity on my soul in agony…but you God… I count on you!
God: Dear son of mine, my love for you is boundless but I cannot but punish you for what you’ve done.
Mariner: Oh father, take pity on me!
God: Dear creature of mine, your crime was an unnatural one. Brothers don’t kill each other…so God’s creatures don’t do that as well.
Mariner: Oh, I repent my sin!
God: Your words are a great comfort to me but your crime is like a scar that lasts forever!
I liked the references to Shakespeare! Everything flows smoothly, but you know I expect more from you. You could have created more complex dialogues because you are capable of great things. I know you are overburdened with things to do, but you could just have written something more to reveal your deep analysis of the ballad. 😉